Too often everything in the home falls on the shoulders of the mother. The mental load is huge and expectations are high.
Mothers now are expected to work as if they don’t have kids and raise kids as if they don’t work.
Research shows a woman’s workload increases when she gets married. Even more once kids are involved.
The amount of us that are doing almost everything at home, working full time, doing most of the child things plus all the paperwork and mental load things is huge. Burn out is real and this is why.
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What is Insourcing?
Insourcing is getting others who live with you to do things. In our home, we are of the view that we all live here so we all need to pitch in.
This means we take turns cooking dinner, my kids pack their own lunches, whoever cooks dinner doesn’t have to clean, laundry is alternated etc.
Although there have been many times where it slips, for the most part, having this approach means the actual chores within the home are shared. The mental load is another thing, though.
How do you get Everyone Else at Home to Help More?
The younger you start, the easier it is. As soon as my kids showed any interest in any house chore I was doing, I involved them, even though it meant the task took longer.
Washing dishes even if they make a mess with the water, letting them load and unload the washing machine, pass clothes to you or pegs for the clothesline etc.
Involve them in what you are doing and progress as they grow and can do more.
In the beginning, it will be slower but in the long term it is worth taking the time to teach them these skills and ensure everyone at home helps.
Fair Play
Fair Play is a deck of cards that helps show just how much each person is doing, the mental load we carry etc.
There is a book and cards. Both are so useful in visually showing and getting everyone in the family to see what the reality is when it comes to who does what and how much needs to be done.
Life Admin Hacks
If there was ever a book that would save you time and money by helping you organise everything from doctor appointments to tax, this is it.
Life Admin Hacks covers every aspect of your life and budget, and provides you with resources and systems to streamline it and make your life easier.
It is a must-read book for everyone.
Family Calendar
This was a game-changer in our house. While my family has been pretty good with splitting chores, no one really understood how much was required to run the home and our lives efficiently.
Once I set up a family calendar and started putting things in, time blocking and allocating what needs to be done, they realised how much I did. Every appointment and task from car maintenance to the dentist was put in.
A family calendar also helps everyone see if there is time to go to a friends or accept an invitation etc. We know what we are all doing and when so nothing is double booked or forgotten.
Meal Plan
We shop once a week and plan our meals around what is in season and on sale at the market. Before we shop, I cook what we have left or organise it into meals so nothing gets wasted.
For example, any vegetables that are too soft will be used in a soup or spaghetti bolognese or similar.
The foods made from what’s left at the end of the week are typically meals we can freeze to use on a night we don’t feel like cooking. It prevents us from getting takeaway on those nights and prevents general waste.
A meal plan makes it easy for the kids to know what they are cooking and when. It also enables us to teach them more recipes and for them to make decisions about what they want to cook or learn to cook.
Chores
We do not pay for chores since we all live here, we need to contribute to keeping the house clean and tidy and being responsible for our own mess.
Rotating chores such as the bathrooms, cleaning out the car, doing the dishes and similar work well for us. Everyone knows what they are doing and when they need to do it.
Instead of someone feeling frustrated they always have to clean the bathroom, it is rotated so each of us is cleaning. This way it gets done weekly but we each only have to do it once a month.
Insourcing Resources
By getting everyone in the home to contribute, it ensures everyone develops essential life skills and nothing is left for one person to do.
There are also things you can get to make it much easier and reduce how much everyone has to do.
Robot vacuum cleaners and mops can be set on a timer to keep the floors clean.
You can get ones for the lawn too.
Utilising slowcookers or multicookers can make meals easier.
Think about all the things you do and if there are ways to make it easier or products you can buy to do it for you.
